Friday, December 14, 2012

New Beginnings

"It's not about perfect. It's about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. That's how change occurs." -unknown

This post marks the end of my very first semester of college classes. I went into this new endever having no clue what to expect and I came out feeling very confident that my original goals are more than attainable.  I do not have official grades at this point and am waiting for a couple of papers to be graded but I am expecting to finish this semester with a 4.0 GPA.

The last 16 weeks have been a great ride and quite life changing. I spent most of the first part of this semester beating myself up for not going back to school years ago. I had no clue how many misconceptions higher education looked like and realized early on that it was not nearly as intimidating as I thought it would be. However in the midst of my negative self talk, I was also reminded that God opens all the right doors at just the right time. I realized that this timing gave me the last 15 years to focus solely on my children and be fully present in our time of crisis. My academic refreshing  has also come at a great time to help my boys through high school and one day college.

The reality of being a mother for me, even through tragedy is simple.... I do it because I want to and because I love my children with all that I am. It is not a job or an accomplishment of some sort. It is my life and even though it is a fairly thankless job, I would have it no other way. However, since becoming a mother I have put many, if not all of my aspirations on hold to be there for my kids. I have not dared to dream for anything but my children for a very long time. This semester not only showed me that I am smart, and more then capable of achieving a degree, but also that I can follow my dreams at the same time I dream for my children and  give them that they need. After 15 years of the mystery of child rearing, the simple concept of doing something and then receiving feed back in the form of a grade and many times a pat on the back for a job well done feels so good! This new era of my life has given me a confidence both as a mother and an individual that I have never had.

This time has also helped me re prioritize many things in life. For a while now I have felt that life is "normal" again. I feel as though this family has done a great job moving beyond Makenzie's accident and I feel very whole again. I have spent much time looking at life and trying to figure out where we go from here. Going back to school was a huge part of that thought process.

I have also thought a lot about the internet world that was such an integral part of my healing and support after Makenzie's accident. Today, I find that I spend much less time participating in forums, support groups, and research then I did a year ago. I have also contemplated the current purpose of this blog. Many times I do not know what to write because I feel like it is all a bit of the same. Makenzie is doing great, the boys are growing up, and we have not tried any new therapies or treatments to report for over two years now.

I have come here to write for the last five years for many different reasons. In the beginning it was to inform my family and friends about Makenzie's progress, to ask for prayer, and to release emotion. As time went on I realized how many people I had met and could meet through Makenzie's story which then turned into the desire to help those who where walking the same or similar roads.

Every time my thoughts about this blog have evolved there was one thing that remained unchanged and that is and always will be to share  Makenzie's strength and healing as well as God's perfect plan through all of this. I have watched Makenzie's story and God's power touch so many, including myself, over the last five years. I have documented our journey and the power of prayer to remember for generations to come. I also have all of you and the many beautiful comments of support and love which I will cherish forever. This little place on the internet means so much to me!

However, I am not sure where to go from here. This is not some dramatic way of telling you that I am going to quit posting because, I am not going anywhere. However, most days there is not enough "Makenzie" news to write about and am not sure if my readers are interested in my school endever, the boys, hockey, and the rest of my "normal' boring life.

So with that said, I am going to get back to my boring life. The one were the flu virus is going around and my daughter stayed home from school because she had and upset tummy last night. I am going to get back to making cake pops for teachers who do an excelent job, making dinner, giving baths, and tucking my four beautiful children safely into their beds so that we can begin again tomorrow. To be quite honest...... I am in love with boring! I have not had near enough of it in my life! So here's to new beginnings. Cheers!

Believe... Prayer Works!


Anonymous said...

Please continue to tell us about all of your family and life. You and the boys are a big part of Miss Makenzies life and her Miracles. Thanks sg-KS

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