I am going to start this post with a statement and a question.....
My statement is:
God is so good.
My question is:
How can sitting in a hospital doing NOTHING for 5 days be so exhausting?
The day after I wrote the last post about summer being in full swing Mr 11, Makenzie, and I headed to the doctor to check out some soreness he was having on his arm where his PICC line was remove a week prior. I had contacted two doctors the day before and neither thought it sounded like a big deal but Wednesday morning when we got up I felt like he needed to be seen.
The doctor took a look and didn't seem overly concerned either and said she would be comfortable just watching it for a few days. However, knowing how complete I like to be she offered to send us down the hall for a quick ultrasound just to be sure. Of course I took her up on the offer so 30 minutes and a fire alarm later we were standing back in her office waiting for a direct admit to the floor for treatment on a pretty impressive blood clot.
When the doctor on the floor started talking about calling the cardiologist in to perform an ECHO complete with a bubble test to check his heart and make sure there was not a hole between his valves big enough to let a clot travel through and into his brain I think my heart stopped for a brief moment. When the phrase "potential stroke" fell out of her mouth I am pretty sure I could have curled up in a ball under the bed.
However that is where the above statement comes in...... God is good! We got home early this evening. The clot is still there but stable and Mr 11 is on a cocktail of blood thinners to help it go away. There is a microscopic hole between his valves but nothing that would allow a clot to pass through which is great news. We are still watching for shortness of breath and chest pains which is still a bit unnerving. Please say a pray for Mr 11. Pray that this clot stays right where it is until it goes away. Please also say a prayer of thanksgiving that we caught it and that even though we did many physical things over the last couple of weeks it did not cause him harm! God is SO good!
Sitting in the hospital is exhausting. I have no clue why because I got more sleep in the last four nights then I have in a long time. Sitting in the hospital is also really boring and tends to cause your mind to wander into deep thought more then usual as well.
For the last 5 days I thought about the last fourteen years of my life. The years which I have been a mom. I thought a lot about the way we parent our kids and how sometimes we loose out on the joy of life trying to protect them from harm.
You see I have learned in the past 5 years that it is not the things that we think our kids need to be protected from that harm our kids most of the time.
I have watched many parents hoover over their toddlers (the helicopter mom) watching every single move, saving them from every scraped knee, bruised elbow, or bump on the head. I find myself shaking my head with a smile because I know that no amount of baby proofing, hand holding, or always being one step behind their bundle of joy will ever be enough to save them from what could be lurking around the bend.
Now I am not against doing all that we can do to keep our kids safe but I stood there once myself. I had gates, outlet covers, special locks on the cabinets, medicine and cleaners stored in a high place, all small things out of reach, and water never sat in the tub or yard. However, no matter what I did to protect my kids at any age nor how much I worried about them could or would save Makenzie or Mr 11 from harm.
Makenzie did not choke on a marble laying on the floor because there were non. I had made sure of that over and over again. She choked on a mostly chewed up piece of food. Unless, I never fed her...which wasn't an option....I could not have protected her from what happened on March 25th 2007.
Mr 11 did not eat spoiled food or get hit by a car while riding his bike in the street to cause the damage in his gut. His appendix ruptured and unless I had gone to a surgeon when he was little and asked them to take it out because I did want to risk him ever having appendicitis, there was nothing I could have done to "protect" him from this.
I am also guessing that the two wonderful families I met this week would have done anything to protect their babies from getting cancer at 2 and 14 years old but again there was nothing they could have done to see that coming either.
My point is......We need to Worry LESS and Live MORE. Trust in the one who can truly protect and guide you through the hard times in your life.
Also while you are lifting up prayer and thanksgiving for Mr 11 please also say a prayer for our new friend Big A and his family during his scary and painful 2nd bone marrow transplant! Praise God for this amazing young man's strength and courage and pray for complete healing and restoration to his body!!!
God is Good!
Believe... Prayer Works!