Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I Am Dreaming of White Sandy Beaches

I have been thinking about writing a post for a few day but honestly I don't know what to say. Life is not bad but life is not good. Most days lately I feel like everything that I touch or even think about touching turns to some kind of disaster. Not many things are easy lately and it seems there is something on a daily bases that knocks me down both physically and emotionally. I feel like I am drowning.

I could write a post about how wonderful Makenzie's talker is or how at the last minute we got accepted into a Talking with Technology Camp.

But really those things seem to be over run by fires lately.

It is fall break around here and I have listened to my kids fight for 3 days. My daughters pump has not been working and I have spent hours listening to it beep instead of feed her.

The bank won't cash my escrow check because it is written out to myself and my ex husband. My ex has not endorsed it. The escrow company wont take his name off of the check even though I have court paper work stating that he has had no rights to the house for the past eleven years. This is the same man who has not contacted his children for almost six years nor contributed financially to their well being for over a year. This is a man that I have no clue how to find. So my some what decent sized check in reality is trash.

Oh and by the way ma'am.... it looks like you enjoy taking the brunt of everyone else's problems so I am sure you wont mind knowing that your ex husband filed bankruptcy on the house that you have lived in for 10 years. To top it off, even though you paid your mortgage payment every single month and brought several thousand dollars to the closing table in order to pay the house off in full, we have still been reporting you to the credit agencies for the bankruptcy that you never even filed.

Or maybe it is the fact that in order to have an accessible bath and shower in the only full bath in our house after we turn two small bathrooms into one,  I will have to justify why Makenzie would medically need both. It can not be about simple quality of life or maybe the fact that we would like to take a bath and relax every once in a while.  Oh and by the way your therapist needs to write another letter to the state because the first one was not good enough.

Maybe it would be the constant pain Makenzie has had in her stomach for the last week and a half after changing her g tube. She has not had any major stoma issues for at least 3 years and bam....... huge issues. Then there is the hospital who gave me a hard time for just stopping by to see if the nurse could look at her g tube site. Never mind I was already there for something else and would have just called and left a message if no one was available.

How about filing an insurance claim for several things which were stolen out of my car, (no pictures.... no camera.... yeah that was taken)  or the horrible headache and back pain I have had for the last several days.

Did I mention Makenzie's OT is moving out of state? 

There is more I am sure, but really I am feeling very done right now. I feel like no matter what I do life just keeps spinning out of control. I have a ton to be thankful for, I just wish I could spend more time focusing on that instead of figuring out how to constantly put out fires.

I am sure that this feeling will soon be a thing of the past but today being a single mommy to 4 children is proving to be a bit to much. Super mom has been removed from my title for today and I am just going to crawl under a blanket, snuggle up with my daughter while the boys go to a movie, and watch The next Iron Chef for about the next 3 hours while I dream of a poolside bar next to a white sandy beach in the middle of nowhere!

Believe.... Prayer Works!


Anonymous said...

Please, please please take some time to visit the forums at with your issues with the bankrupsty being report on your credit and perhaps even the checks. The board is BUSY and takes a moment to get used to, but when I was given the link from a dear friend over a year ago, we both cleaned our credit up considerably due to the advice of the people in the forums! They are some of the most knowledgeable people with some of the best advice and TRIED and TRUE experience and I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

You can find info on laws, filing disputes, etc!

I wish you well.

Shit sandwiches suck!

Jacky said...

I am pretty sure you can take the check to a check cashing place. They will take 10% or something, but its better than nothing.

Its certainly worth a try.

You can also try to put for deposit only on the back of your check and stick it in your bank account? Sometimes one clerk won't take it but another will.

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