Friday, March 11, 2011

What If ........................?

While I sit here in what feels like the chaos of my life, the shock of shifting ground and the raging seas take many lives and paralyse an entire country.

While I feel the stress of all of the many things that need to be done in my life, a mother was saying her final goodbyes to her little boy after they decided to give what was left of his short life to others.

While in the midst of being completely exhausted I am sitting here thinking about how blessed I am. My life is nothing like what I had ever imagined it would be but my daughter received a miracle which many today did not..... life.

Today I thought a lot about how different Makenzie's story could have turned out. Today I gave all of my kids an extra squeeze and for a while just let the worries in my life go. Today I watched Makenzie in her walker and felt guilty for being tired of turning her around every time she hits a wall.  Today when I looked at my boys, I watched intently as they tossed around a football, memorizing their faces and enjoying their smiles.

Tonight I could not love the 70lb wheel chair I get to lift everyday. The weird looking walker and stander which decorate my family room makes me smile. Every single fight with the insurance companies, school districts, and, doctors, is such a blessing. 

Four years ago I expected huge miracles. There have been days that I have pleaded with God, I have yelled at God all while wondering when Makenzie's huge miracle was going to come. You know the walking, talking, sitting, eating variety.

However, more and more over time as I look back at the last four years I realize that the miracle's God has given to Makenzie and this family have been huge. She may not be talking and walking but she is alive. Not only is she alive she is happy, healthy, and healing a little bit every day.

She is beginning to follow directions very fast and learning how to control her body on command. Today as we laid on the couch together listening to the constant banging of the contractors while they installed our new carpet, I asked Makenzie to straighten her legs and put them down on mine. She did it! Makenzie knows what she wants and has been vocalizing more and more every day. I have been hearing some new sounds and she continues to say "yeah" when she wants something. I feel a bit more everyday like "real" words are right around the corner. She is a miracle.... a huge one!I truly believe that with all of my heart!

That is not to say there are not hard times. The times when I feel like no one on this earth has it harder then me. I believe everyone feels that way at one time or another regardless of how different our struggles are but then there are days like today that reach out and slap us in the face reminding us of all of the things we have to stop taking for granted!

Hard...... I ain't got it hard..... and really I don't.

I am so blessed.

Pray for the people of Japan. Pray for little Avery's family as today they said their final goodbyes to their baby boy. Life is hard for all of us sometimes but please take sometime to thank God for what He has blessed you with and then pray for those that have it harder then you do!

Believe.... Prayer Works!


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