Thursday, January 20, 2011

Unanswered Questions

 To do or not to do. That is the question.

After catching up today with a special mommy and talking about all of the things we do with our kids I have had so many things on my mind.

There are a hundreds therapies out there. I could probably travel the whole world finding something new everywhere I went. Many of these therapies we have tried with Makenzie. However,  sometimes I still think about what would have been if we had done nothing.

Would Makenzie have made the gains she has with no intervention. Would she smile and laugh. Would she use her arms or walk in a walker. Would she be able to swallow and roll over. Some days this is a really hard question not have the answer to.


Yes, we have seen results in Makenzie from just about everything we have done. I have felt Gods leading along with his peace and hope around every bend. Then there are the times like right now when we are doing nothing extra and Makenzie makes huge gains. It makes me sit and think..... was it God's healing through the stem cells we did in April. Maybe it is God in ABM, or maybe just maybe it is just....... well ..... God. Period.

It is so hard to just let go. To stop thinking. To just live, with out needing to know why and just appreciate where we are today regardless.

Deep, thought provoking conversations, with another mom who gets each and every word!  So refreshing!

Makenzie had a wonderful day. She was so happy and easy going. She got some good massage in PT and OT along with a bit of weight bearing into her arms and legs in tall knell and quadruped.

I picked up some lunch on our way home from Target and Makenzie whined and fussed until I gave her some. I decided that I would get her something she could really eat and four oz later I decided to skip her tube feed and just let her enjoy the feeling of the Mac and cheese in her belly.

The milk and wheat that was in the mac and cheese was a bit of a mistake because Makenzie seemed to be a bit uncomfortable during PT but she sure did enjoy it! Dinner went great but I think I will continue to leave out  dairy and gluten products because it was clear something didn't sit quite right. Live and learn!

We had a very nice dinner with grandma and grandpa and got in some more X box fun. A nice relaxing evening was just what I needed.

Now what I am needing is a bit of American Idol and a pillow!

Tomorrow is another day. As of this very second at 11:41pm I have nothing planned  other then breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dropping two of my boys off at church for a weekend of fun in the mountains! Life is good!

Believe... Prayer Works!


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