Sunday, January 16, 2011

I Wonder

Being a parent is hard stuff. There are many times that I joke with people telling them that I believe teenagers are the best birth control ever. I have come to learn that babies are easy.... really easy!

Sometimes I wonder... ok a lot I wonder, if my boys would be the same people today if Makenzie's accident had never happened. It is very clear that Makenzie would be very different but what about my other children. Who would they be?

Other times I think about all of the wonderful qualities they would most definitely not have if March 25th 2007 had never happened. In a perfect world they could have all the wonder, with out the pain!

I wonder if my boys will have anger and resentment  over all of this. I wonder how will it affect them as adults and I wonder if they will  use it as an excuse for making poor choices or being in unhealthy relationships . I want a crystal ball. I want to know today that all of my children will lead happy, healthy, and productive lives!

I want to know things I can not know right now.

Today I do know that my kids are amazing. I know that they are children who have learned many wonderful things kids their age have no clue about. They are smart and very good at seeing other's needs before their own. I know that they love each other even though they bicker often. My boys are quite amazing young men and Makenzie is such an amazing little girl.

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu  (Thanks Renee)

Once again, I am blessed! My little family may not be perfect. We may have been faced with a life changing tragidty but we are all still standing! All I can do is be the best I can be. I can continue to value the things I have learned are most important in life and surrender the rest into God's hands.

Regardless of what this life throws at us we can always rest assured that God will cover the mistakes we make with His blood.

Tonight as I watched my kids hanging out I just had to smile. Makenzie was hanging out with two of her brothers while they ate on the floor while watching a movie. She walked over to them and started babbling. Which if you are eating means she would like some. My son notified me that his sister wanted a corn dog and my response to that was..... then let her have some. I watched with a smile on my face as he let her slobber all over his corn dog! Now that is brotherly love!

I went back into the kitchen and a few minutes later heard Makenzie fussing. I have yet to hear her get upset in her walker so I went in to investigate. What I found was amazing! Her brothers had locked the wheels so she would stay by them but she was mad that she couldn't move. I unlocked the wheels and she took off happy as a clam once again! You tell em girl!!!

As much time and energy as Makenzie requires those boys are so in love with her. I guess that is what big brothers are for right?

Believe... Prayer Works!


hannah said...

I have been reading your blog for some time now and what an amazing journey your little girl and family have been on. A few of your posts have really touched me, but nothing like a simple statement in this post. "She walked over to them and started babbling." I know you have had the pony walker for a few days and have been out in public several times, but just being able to interact with her brothers and go where she wants to go without relying on someone to "put" her there is a beautiful thing. Independence. Freedom. Go Makenzie! And go momma for never giving up!

gillian said...

Wow, the walker is amazing! What a world of fun and mischief it opens up for Makenzie! I'm amazed to see her puttering around all over the place - and even in TArget!! Fantastic.
Keep up the good work!

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