Friday, January 7, 2011

Bad Stuff

This afternoon when my son didn't show up after school I went into a full blown panic. I bought his a cell phone for Christmas for this exact moment. I called and called..... no answer. I called the school and they gave me the run around for awhile. After getting a bit pushy they told me someone from the security department would call me back. At this point I was ready to call 911.... a skill I have mastered over the last 3 years.

Needless to say my son came home. 911 was not called and all is well but this mommy can't handle stuff like that anymore! My son made some bad choices today but the school also failed in several places in my opinion. There will be a lengthy discussion about it all in the morning.

I used to have ignorant worry about bad stuff happening. After everything that has happened with Makenzie I tend to get a bit more frantic because I have felt the fear and the finality of bad stuff. I know when bad stuff happens it is not a dream and waking up to your previous life just doesn't happen.

So when my son didn't show up my brain and heart skipped right to the terror. It skipped straight to the vision of sitting on the couch sobbing wonder if my child was going to be ok, I could feel the pit in my stomach. I could feel the pain of thinking about the loss of my child. I could feel all the raw emotion because I know it all to well.


Makenzie is amazing. Today her story is a miracle filled, wonderful one, but it sure did not start that way. All of the feelings I had in those first few weeks after my baby almost died are and probably always will be hiding deep with in my heart surfacing when the threat of bad stuff knocks on my door.

But today, the fear of  bad stuff will not prevail!

Makenzie had a great day! We got a ton done and she did awesome in therapy!

She got to play peek-a-boo by putting a towel over her head while working on side sit and weight bearing through her arms. Makenzie had so much fun and was incredibly proud when she lifted her head up and the towel fell off.

She kicked and moved herself all over the family room several times today. It is so very fun to see! When you walk out of the room with Makenzie in one place only to find her on the other side of the room when you come back is just amazing! This simple skill provides so much hope! Baby steps!!!

She enjoyed reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear tonight before bed with Erica and Emily and was super vocal throughout the whole book.

Everyone is sound asleep, safe in their beds, and tonight I am extra grateful for that!


Oatie - IWillSkate on Ice said...

Dear Makenzie's mum, I love your blog, and I really love Makenzie's smile. Sorry to read about the accident. My youngest has CP but it wasn't apparent till he was 2.5 so almost a year ago our lives changed too. I'm so glad your son was ok.

I know what you mean, Oatie has an older brother and sister, and you would think having a person who is less able physically than they are in their face, that they would make better choices, like not make silly ones by not sitting on their chair properly or running in the house...

Love Oatie's mum

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