As I watched this video this morning I smiled and I got tears in my eyes. I thought back to when peanut butter sandwiches were a favorite and corn dogs and mac and cheese made the whole clan smile.
I searched my mind think about all of the things we have done over the last 13 years and find myself a bit sad that my babies are now embarking on man hood.
In the age of the digital world I realize how many pictures I have not printed and stored in albums and wonder were many of my pictures have gone. Broken computers and fried hard drives have eaten many. About a year ago I finally smartened up to the external hard drive but even that isn't perfection as you must back up the hard drive for it to work!
This morning I want the last three and a half years back. I want the seemingly stress free life of soccer games and school functions. I want to frolic in the park and watch my babies squeal while I push them on the swing. I want to watch as each of them learn how to ride a bike and most of all I want the guilt that somehow the last three years could have been different to subside.
I know in my heart that I am doing the best I can. I know this for sure, but how do I get back to that place of soccer games and school functions amidst the therapy, g tube feeding, reflux, and lack of the right equipment (which would make every activity so much less physically draining). How do I muster up more energy and motivation.
How do I maybe just accept that all of the busyness most of the world sees as a necessity is not all it is cracked up to be. Maybe it will have to be enough to just enjoy today for what it is, because today is really all that we have!
Today I have 4 amazing kids who are growing up way too fast but that is ok because they are growing into the most wonderful young adults I have ever known!
Believe... Prayer Works!