Wednesday, October 27, 2010

See Ya Later's Stink

I am so sorry for the lack of a post again last night. I was so busy laughing, crying, drinking Margaritas, laughing some more, eating some lava crunch cake, crying, and then falling asleep after an emotionally charged evening week, curled in a ball on my chair.

This morning my very good friend packed up what was left of her things and loaded her kids and dog into her car and drove off to see a sunset in a different state, and to sleep under a unfamiliar roof. She is on a new journey in her life. One that is a bit scary and full of uncertainty but also a ton of hope!

I am sad. I am very sad. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I have spent most of today moping around in a state of emotional exhaustion. Erica and I  have been through so much together including having the common bond of not only having a child with special needs but also going at it alone.

Erica and I moved past the being friends thing a long time ago and moved onto being family. We know each others imperfections well but we still love each other without conditions. I have known Erica since before Makenzie's accident.... she has walked with me for many miles on my journey of loss, hope, and healing. She is one of the only people I trust to watch Makenzie. She is my rock. I do have several other rocks in my life but none whom I have ever lived close to.  I have had many see ya laters in the last 3 years and they were always hard but never this hard because I have have never known them to live right down the street and a day to day part of my family's life.

Erica's children have become a huge part of my life as well! Starting with her oldest Hailey. She fights with the boys like true brothers and sisters do. She is a smart outgoing little girl who has taught me what the norm is for girl children. She has made me do a double take some days and given me a lot to think about when it comes to what I am really missing out on with Makenzie! LOL! Mood swings and attitude..... am I really missing anything!? hehehehehehe!

Miss Emily is a sweet 7 year old little girl who Makenzie has spent the last 3 years being terrified of.  Lately however Emily has figured out that she can't just crawl over Makenzie and Makenzie has figured out that Emily can be a lot of fun! They have really had a ton of fun this week! Loving on each other like sisters do!

And then there is Morgan... oh Morgan! That baby has my heart and soul. I never thought it was possible to love some one whom did not come from your body so much, but oh man is it ever! I love that little boy so much. I miss his coos and babbles. I miss getting woken up at 4am and I miss most of all his laughter. I miss him so very much! The sad part is ...... he has not even been gone for 24 hours! I sat with him last night feeding him a bottle. Silent tears streaming down my cheeks. I don't know what I am going to do without his sweat snuggles and cheesy grin!

So yesterday we had a family fun day. We took the kids roller skating.... which by the way we are both paying for today. We left the baby and Emily at home with the nanny so that we could enjoy our time with the big kids. Makenzie thought that skating was great! I strapped skates on her and she giggled so hard. We made it about half way around the rink before my back gave out and Erica retrieved her chair and she loved that just as much! I am pretty sure team Makenzie took first place at speed skating and the dice game .... well we picked the wrong number on the first turn but Makenzie was a good looser!

The kids watched a couple of Halloween movies, we carved pumpkins, ate orange sugar cookies coated with chocolate, made milkshakes, and just plain enjoyed each other.It was a really good day! Really good!

So for today... See ya later.... See ya soon! I love ya girl.... An estimate for the garage door is coming soon! LOL! Oh and by the way even from hundreds of miles away I can still help by directing my friend to her new home, under the same moon, with the phone and a bit of map quest power! Love ya girl!

Believe... Prayer Works!


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