Monday, October 25, 2010

Meltdown

Today I hit a wall. I had a bit of an emotional break down. Yes, these happen on occasion.

Makenzie has done so well lately with her feedings. I have been vigilant with venting her and there has been no reflux. Today however, after I proclaimed that the problem had been solved Makenzie had a horrible day. No puke but a ton of reflux.

During Makenzie's lunch I was trying to put together a baby swing for my newest baby niece who was born on Thursday, Makenzie had spit up, and her pump would not run and I was having to stop what I was doing every 90 seconds to restart it. At one point I thought if it beeped one more time my head was going to explode!

My friend Erica walked in the room and asked if I needed anything and I looked up at her and said yeah..... I need a kid that is not brain injured that can eat by mouth so that I never have to look at this pump again! As much as I love Makenzie there are those moments when it all just becomes too much. These moments usually last about 60 seconds and then I move on.

The swing was finally put together, Makenzie's feed was over, and move on we did. Makenzie and I sat and read books. We counted all the fish on the pages and then we did a puzzle. She was able to locate the birds on the puzzle by color and take them all out by herself. Talk about proud!

I laid Makenzie down to bed a bit earlier tonight but at 8:30 she was still awake. I got her up out of bed and we just snuggled on the couch. She giggled and looked lovingly into my eyes! I squeezed her and told her about a 100 times how much I loved her! I am only human but man do I love that girl so very much! I love that she wants to cuddle and hug. I love that she loves me even when I do have my moments. I just love her so much!

Tomorrow we are going to take the kids roller skating. This will be the last day I get to spend with my friend before she goes to visit a far away place for longer then I care to talk about so we are GOING to have a good day. I love my friend and her family so much and I feel like my heart is being ripped out right now but God will carry us through this one too!

Believe.... Prayer Works! Miracles Happen!

1 comments:

Reagan Leigh said...

I totally know your frustration with that stinking pump!! We have been having issues with ours getting clogged lately (or just thinking it's clogged) and the alarm goes off and wakes an already cranky Reagan. Not fun.

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