Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Crystal Ball

Tonight I sat down with 2 of my closest friends.We talked, and laughed and drank a few margaritas. My house is clean, and all chores are done. Refreshing!

I have been caught in such a whirlwind of emotions these days and it was a much needed break from reality.

I have been thinking a lot about Makenzie and her reflux and vomit. While she is doing so much better then she was 3 years ago it is still an issue. She has good days and she has bad days. No matter what we have done over the past 3 years it is good and it is bad. It is frustrating and I just can't help to think about how Makenzie feels about the whole ordeal.

The thing is that right now Makenzie is doing wonderful if you look at her weight. She has a good BMI and is on the charts. This is good... this is REALLY good. What is not so good is the constant reflux despite all the meds and modifications to her formula.

When we went to the GI doctor last week the first thing he did was ask how we were doing. The first thing out of my mouth was... I am so sick of puke! ... So for those of you who think my doctors don't know what is going on they do. So unruffle your panties and move on.

We talked for awhile about Makenzie's feeding, her formula, and her other improvements. He noticed Makenzie's increase in head control and was very happy with how well Makenzie looked and was doing.

As we were wrapping up our visit I asked if we could talk about the FUNDO. We talked about the pros and the cons. We talked about CP and general brain injury and how it related to this issue. We talked about studies. We talked until there was nothing more to talk about.

Here is where I am stuck...... the vomiting stinks but I am not sure that it stinks any more then having trouble swallowing, having constant dry heaves, or ending up with dumping disease. However none of these things may happen and life could be a lot easier. There is just no way to know! Today I sure wish I believed in the crystal ball!

I am so torn. At this point it would be elective. Please pray for guidance and clarity. Please pray that I can hear what God is telling me on this issue. Please pray for healing.

On a side note I thought maybe I would call the school and let them decide what to do about this issue because after 8 weeks they know what is best for Makenzie. I was thinking maybe this would be a good start in the quest to trusting them more and it sure would take the weight off of my back.

Other then that today was a really good day. Makenzie and I have spent the last couple of days relaxing and just taking time to enjoy life. She has been doing so well in therapy and her improved cognition continues to amaze everyone who is blessed to be a part of her life.

More and more every day Makenzie has been able to respond to verbal command with a physical response. It has been so much fun be able to ask Makenzie to kick her legs, put her hand on the floor or keep her hips still, and know that she can and will follow these directions. God is so good!


ParkerMama said...

Oh, but how I understand what you are saying here.

With us the decision is between botox and surgery to pin down Parker's epiglottis.

I'll pray for you if you'll do the same for me. :)

Tammy and Parker

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