Thursday, July 29, 2010

How Green is Your Grass?

Life is not always greener on the other side.

I have spent the last 2 weeks with one of my very best friends, Michelle. One week we spent doing therapy in Phoenix and one week at her home a few hours away. Our lives are VERY different but so much the same. You see her 7 year old son, DJ has Autism. There are many people who have so many ideas and theories about what Autism is and how it is caused. Today I don't much care about any of it because the bottom line is Autism is sad, it is scary, and a huge problem which is not being taken seriously enough.

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I met Michelle over three years ago while in Arizona for HBOT. At first glance DJ looks like a very handsome, normal child. If you take some time to get to know DJ he is still a handsome but far from what the world would consider normal. He can not focus or stay on task. Sometimes the simple task of eating dinner can take hours because he just can not sit still long enough. It doesn't take much for him to become over stimulated at which point he beginning to yell, make weird noises, cover his ears, and bolts. He can talk to you all day about his favorite thing in the whole world.... trains... but can not carry on any other kind of conversation well. I could go on but I think you get the point. DJ is an amazing little boy with a heart of gold. I love that kid with all my heart.

Many times Michelle and I have talked about our kids. Many times I have brought up the fact that at least DJ can walk, talk, and eat. After living with DJ, in his home, I have decided the grass is NOT greener on this side of the fence. It is about the same green as where I am standing. Michelle deals with different issues but they are just as hard. DJ is on a crazy diet because he is allergic to everything. He takes MANY supplements because his body does not absorb nutrients. He is full of toxic medals that require IV celation, and his immune system requires IVIG once every 3 weeks. Michelle has done ABA, RDI, sensory learning, IM, and is now on course to start neuro feedback and ABM. The time and money that goes into all of this is insane!

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We planned our trip so that we could be with DJ on his 7th birthday. Here is his cake made with "no" food. It is pretty much everything free! There is no wheat, soy, lactose, casien, dairy, or eggs. DJ LOVED it! What a treat!

The fight for our kids is the same as is the love, the hope, the guilt, and the fear of the future we have for our children. The emotion, and frustration start in different places but finish on the same line.

Brain injury sucks, Autism Sucks, but man these kids are the strongest human beings I have or probably ever will meet!

Some days it is easy to feel sorry for myself. To feel like life is so hard but life is hard for many people. Walk over to some one elses grass and take a peek.... you will see their grass isn't all that green after all.

Believe... Prayer Works


Suzanne and Jayme said...

what a great post. As you know our family deals with so many special issue and it's not greener on the other side. I feel so blessed to be apart of a family where our children have opened up a hole new world for us. I love and cherish all of there unique personalities

Lucy said...

I'm speechless, beautiful thoughts indeed♥

mary clendinning said...

Pam, thank you so much for your blog. It helps me keep in touch with "How Green is my Grass." I worry about Mark; he continues to get worse with MS but we are seekng other treatments since stem cells didn't work for him. He is happy, positive and makes those around him happy. He has a wonderful wife and they have an incredible relationship. So yes, our grass is very green.
You and your family are in our prayers. Mary Clendinning

Ellen said...

I have had similar thoughts. I do have to say, though, that I stand in awe of the autism community. They have a lot of good organizations and muscle.

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