Sunday, January 31, 2010


We didn't leave the house today! Oh it felt sooooo good!

We got a lot of clutter picked up and put into better places, a ton of laundry done and a lot of playing and fun.

The boys took turns helping me and hanging out with Makenzie. It was so cute! Kaleb got out all of Makenzie's dolls and sat on the floor and played with her. He helped her feed and dress them. He just loves his sister!

We had some friends over and played a bit of Rock Band and Mario Bros. Try it sometime with a little girl in your lap that doesn't really enjoy loud noises! I had her in tears a few times over the silly game! Lets just say I don't die quietly! LOL

I am pretty sure from about 1pm on I had the entire neighborhood at my house. Thank goodness it was nice enough and they could play outside!

Tonight my mind is busy thinking about many things! ABM, tonsils, hips, therapy, sleep, calories, and the list goes on! I have no clue how one brain manages this mile long list, but I guess it is possible.

We start our next ABM intensive session on Tues. We also will be having a phone consult with Anat on Tuesday as well. Please pray that the short amount of time we will get to spend talking will be used in a way that will be most useful to Makenzie's healing!

Makenzie is doing so well! Keep praying for my princess!

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it."
(Hebrews 4:16, NLT)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Road Trip

I am ready to get off of the roller coaster. I feel like I have been going non stop. Tired doesn't even begin to explain the way I feel right now! I have laundry up to my eyeballs, a sink full of dishes and clutter everywhere! I am a very visual person so all of the mess has me very overwhelmed. The worst part is I am too tired to deal with any of it.

I think we are going to STAY HOME in the morning and have a family cleaning day!

We had a good day today. I am pretty sure we spent more time in the car then we did out, but that is ok. Makenzie did great! She seems to do better and better with longer trips every day. She did not whine one time! I am sure it helped to have her brothers to entertain her!

It is amazing the things that I forget over time! Thinking about all of the time in the car today got me thinking about the past. I remember when Makenzie would scream 2minutes into any car ride and didn't let up until I took her out of her seat. I never went more then 10 min from the house and when we did it was just horrible.

She still has times that are rough. The main concern while driving now is her frequent coughing episodes while in her car seat. I have become a pro at merging back onto the highway, 0-60 as fast as you can! I need a race car!

I also need some sleep so I think that what I am going to do now! Have a great Sunday! I will be at home getting this mess under control! I am sure my kids will be so excited to help!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Friday, January 29, 2010

Starting Early

Today started around here at 3am.

Makenzie was up kicking me in the ribs, giggling, babbling, and rolling around before then but I finally conceded at 3am, changed her diaper, put new jammies on and we both crawled in my bed and turned on the cartoons. Oh man am I tired!

Amazingly she was sooo happy! She is doing so well pushing up on her tummy and even keeping her head up in all fours! She spent a good while tonight just moving around on the floor. She rolled a couple of times. went form side to side but also just hung out on her back just a kicking and a talking. Nice!

She did really well in speech. She told her therapist about 5 times that she wanted to eat. That is great! So when she left we ate! Makenzie has been doing great in that department. She has not been eating as much volume but her oral motor control is improving a ton! She has been closing her lips more and swallowing right away. She really loves it when mommy shares with her. She gives the biggest smile every time I take a bite which is so cool! She has also been vocalizing whenever someone eats in front of her to tell them she wants to try.

The other day I ran to the drive through on my way to an appointment. Not a good plan anymore. Makenzie sat in the back seat just a begging for a lick of my fries. I felt so bad. It is however such an awesome feeling to know that she wants to eat!

We will start our next ABM intensive session next week. We are also going to have a phone consult with Anat Baniel on Tuesday. I am so excited!

We have 2 ABM lessons tomorrow and a few other things to do so busy we will be! Whats new!

Please pray for rest tonight!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Tube Blues

I really don't like days like this. The thought of taking my happy, smiling princess to the hospital to have her GJ tube changed is heart wrenching for me!

I spent last night tossing and turning. I slept horribly and got up this morning feeling like my stomach was inside out.

It seems like something that should be so simple. Let me let you in on something...nothing is simple when it comes to Makenzie.

We went into the hospital this morning and checked in. The nurse came and got us and took vitals and weight. I love when they do this because Makenzie pulse oxes at 99-100. She has such strong lungs! It looks like she did loose a little bit of weight since the last time she was weighed so I guess we will have to up her calories again! My growing princess!

I had a chance to have a long talk with the anesthesiologist and we came up with a plan. Then I talked to her Rehab doctor and decided to go with the requests of the ABM center to hold off on the phenol injections for now.

Next the best part of my day happened.... Makenzie's rehab doctor looked at Makenzie and told me that she looked so much better! She was more animated, more interactive, she had so much more personality. She also agree that the tone... especially in her arms looked better which makes since because she is using them so much more! I totally love and trust this doctor. She is always very straight with me, respects me, and values all of the bio medical stuff I have done with Makenzie. With that said, her observations mean a ton! Thanks Pam!

So along with the good comes the bad. The good being that Makenzie is doing so well but along with that awareness and improvement comes the temper, the feeling of pain, fear, emotion, and the ability to let is be know to all that she is not happy!

So today a simple procedure turned into a huge ordeal!

Makenzie did not want ANYTHING to do with the mask with the sleepy juice. She screamed and then proceeded to puke, hold her breath, gag, and cough. After calming her down once we tried again with the same result. So then we went for an IV witch as you can imagine was not any more fun.

They got the IV on the second try and with in seconds she was out! Right before she went to dream land she de-stated. At its worst her O2 levels were 79. This was for just a second or two and then they got the mask on her with the oxygen and she was back up at 100! Whew! Talk about a VERY nervous mommy! I am glad they know what they are doing!!!

They got the tube changed and I was reunited with my sleeping princess. They did change the type of drug they gave her and she woke up beautifully! I curled up with her in the crib for about 15 min before she opened her eyes and with-in 5 min after opening her eyes she was on my lap smiling and babbling! Yeah God! Thanks for the prayers! They worked! Next time we will have to add prayers for the going to sleep processes too!

Even though we were both traumatized it was the best GJ tube change ever. We had 2 GREAT nurses that didn't leave Makenzie's side. The anesthesiologist took time both before and after the procedure to talk to me in length. I got good news from my favorite doctor, and Makenzie woke up happy!! I have no clue how these people work with concerned parents everyday but today they did a stand up job!

Anesthesia also makes Makenzie nauseous so I am giving her half strength formula and an anti nausea medicine. Please pray that she sleep well and doesn't have any problems with handling her food!!

I am exhausted but oh so blessed! Today is done and God protected Makenzie and brought us to the end of a rough day! No more days like this for 3-6 months! Whew!

Keep praying! Believe... Payer Works!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

California Bound!

I had no idea that it was supposed to snow tonight! I looked out my window a bit ago and there it was.... snow. Crap!

Clearly I have been too busy. I don't really stay up to date on current events or the weather apparently! Sometimes I just feel like I live in my own little world!

Today, my own little world was good. Makenzie had another great day at school and did well in therapy.

The big news for the day:

We got a spot for intensive lessons at the ABM center either the first or the last week of March. Yeah God! I am so excited!

When I first talked to the staff there earlier this month, I was told that there was NO way that we would get a spot. There was already more requests then there were spots and it was based a first come first serve system. Lets just say I was defiantly not first!

As hard as it was I left it in God's hands. Yes, I did call and follow up.... several times. I did advocate for Makenzie but it was in His hands... there was nothing I go do. ( I did try bribery but even that didn't work! LOL... Just kidding!) Today God opened a door. Thank You for all of the prayers! Please pray that God would bless this trip and give Anat and her staff insight and understanding on what Makenzie needs to heal!

Tomorrow Makenzie has an appointment to have her GJ tube replaced. She will need general anesthesia. It is all of 15 min but it is still hard! The last 2 times Makenzie has spent 1 plus hours crying while trying to wake up. That is the hardest part! PLEASE PRAY!!! Pray for safely,peace and that God would calm Makenzie after the procedure.

I am going to bed... busy day tomorrow!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Look at Me!

I am over the moon right now!

It is late and I am tired but what a day.

Makenzie did really well in therapy. She rolled on the ball and got her hands above her to push way up! It was a beautiful site!

She went to school for the fist time in over a week and had a GREAT day. She did a ton of talking with switches and her new low tech book. She helped read a new book and played bingo with her friends. When they place her hand on the lever to spin the numbers she was even able to pull it down by herself! She even got to help make some play dough and was covered in it when I came to pick her up!

As we were getting ready to go to bed I was playing with her by rolling her onto and off of her stomach. She just loved it! I decided that I was going to try to help her hands up and with just a little resistance she got them up. Then the most unreal thing happened... she pushed up on her arms put her head WAY up and brought her knees up under her! All by herself and to top it off was even happy about it! AMAZING!!!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

I am just in awe. She is making so much progress! God is so good!

We have a full day tomorrow with ABM, PT, OT, and feeding therapy! Pray for healing!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Daily Miracle's

Today was a good day. Lazy but good!

Makenzie started out the day a bit tight. She was very flexed and uncomfortable.

However, as the day rolled on she got much better. I have been having a great time just sitting and watching her move. She is moving so much more when on the floor. She is not as curled up. She is rolling a ton. Mostly on and off her stomach to her side. Yesterday she wiggled herself in a complete circle. GREAT Stuff!!!

She also played with her piano for a while today. She just loves that thing! She has gotten really good at pushing the key and making in play! I am still in awe of her desire to WANT to play with it not just being entertained when I play it for her! AMAZING!

Makenzie is also making some amazing sounds including getting really good at the art of whining! Makenzie is very good at happy and sad but this middle emotion has been great!

Makenzie shared some yogurt with me this afternoon and she loved it. She really loved sharing with me and just smiled every time I took at bite and then would coo and open up her mouth for another bite!

So for a day that started out a bit rocky we had a really good day over all!!!

Sorry that was so short sweet and to the point but I have so much on my mind right now. I have been watching videos and reading articles for the last 2 hours and have learned a lot but my mind is a bit tired. I am ready to stop thinking for tonight and rest my eyes.

We have a very full week filled with school, therapy, ABM, and a doctors appointment. Please pray for healing!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

How do you know when God is calling?

Oh my! I am pretty sure that my head is going to explode. I need to just go and be still tonight. I mean really still.

At church today the message was on the blessings God gives even when he says no. Our pastor went through a few examples of and one of them was that God says no because he wants you to reach the world in a way that you would not be able to with a yes answer. Did this ever get me thinking.... in my opinion a little bit too much!

Is God Calling?

Then I started thinking about ABM. I feel so convicted and led to this method, and maybe not just for Makenzie. I feel pulled like a magnet to read, watch, and listen to more. What I can find online isn't enough. I have made it through the 1st video of the workshop tonight for the second time. The thing is...I really don't know why. I have tried a lot of different approaches with Makenzie over the last 3 years but none of them have ever had me so intrigued. My stomach is upside down and my brain just won't stop.

So I thought I would leave you with some quotes from parents and professionals about the ABM method.

I am going to go be still....very still!

“There is a direct line from God, through Anat, to children."
Moshe Feldenkrais

“As much as I pour over medical science and research, and as much time as I spend acid testing Anat’s statements in my naturally skeptical mind, I have yet to find logical fault or lack of scientific foundation…. Anat Baniel’s Method is effective where other treatments have not been, and it is at times almost miraculously effective where medical science has either given up, or where, out of desperation, painful and often counterproductive measures have sadly become the standard of care.”
Dr. Christopher Ryan, M.D., Denver Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation

"Anat Baniel can see potential in a disabled child that no parent would dare hope for and no medical practitioner I have yet experienced would counsel, for she has learned over these years that any learning in a child with however much brain damage is evidence for the potential for more learning and the possibility for a better life."
Neil Sharp, M.D., M.A., M.B.,Ch.B

"For over nine years, I have been leaving my other two children, my husband, and my practice six to seven times a year to bring Dougy out to California to continue working with Anat. Over these years, Dougy's progress has been steady, often bordering on the miraculous. His coordination is now like that of an average normal child his age. He never stops talking, and has a wonderful sense of humor. He is able to think and reason, read and write. Dougy is going to be Bar Mitzvahed in November and he already knows his Torah portion—he is doing unbelievably well."

"Anat's greatest gift to me is that she gave me back my son."
Dr. Cheryl Cooper, M.D., O.D

"Our daughter, Elizabeth, was born with cerebella hypoplasia, a diagnosis of a condition that would be expected to limit her brain development and her capacity to move, learn, mature and develop. At 4 months of age, her prognosis from the most prestigious pediatric neurologist in the city of Chicago was dire: the medical profession predicted that there was no recourse for this child but to become profoundly retarded, ultimately requiring institutionalization.

Though my husband and I gave birth to Elizabeth, Anat Baniel gave her life. Through her potent work, Baniel bypassed the damage in the brain to create new and healthy neural pathways, offering Elizabeth new opportunities to learn and to grow. As a testimony to Baniel's work, Elizabeth has grown up to become a beautiful, brilliant, independent and highly functioning adult. She is currently working towards her second Master's degree and is engaged to be married.

As a teacher, Anat Baniel is larger than life. A vibrant and inspirational personality with a remarkable wit and joie de vivre, she is unequalled as a teacher of her Method, as well as of life itself. As her mentor Moshe Feldenkrais has said about Anat, “There is a direct line from God, through Anat, to children.” Abigail Natenshon, MA, LCSW, GCFP

Saturday, January 23, 2010

2 down ... who knows how many to go!

I feel like I spent the whole day in the car! What should have been a 30 minute drive downtown took over an hour because of an accident. Then on the way home I had to go out of the way to find a Whole Foods...otherwise know as Whole Paycheck... to get Makenzie food and then to my moms to pick up the boys and then finally home!

I am tired and cranky!

Makenzie finished her second intensive ABM session. She did so well! I am so excited about what Makenzie has learned this week. Her hips are so loose. Her arms have come away from her chest a bunch. Today she reached above her head a few times while on her back. She was able to touch the back of her leg and bottom with her hand without any straining. She is still bridging her hips. Her spine looks much straighter and she is standing so tall!

Today at the end of our session I asked her to get off the table and she did. She found the floor, put her feet flat and stood straight up. I let go for a few seconds and she continued to stand. AMAZING!!!

I am so thankful for all of Makenzie's therapists! Without ALL of them she would not be where she is today!!

I have not heard back from the ABM center about the March session yet. Please keep praying that Makenzie will get in! I would really like to see Anat soon! Of course we will continue to work with Andrew here as well! He is so good with Makenzie! I hope to get Makenzie to him 4-5 times next week and to start another intensive the week after! I am so excited!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Friday, January 22, 2010


It is so heartbreaking to see your children disappointed.

Tonight I sat and listened to my youngest son try to explain to me why it would be ok to go to a birthday party he wasn't invited to. His brother was.... he wasn't. As Josh got into his friends car and drove away Kaleb began to sob. Big huge alligator tears.

Nothing I said made him feel any better. He just cried and cried still trying to convince me that he could go. After a while he stopped and found peace playing with his sister and on the computer.

I find it very interesting to see my child learn disappointment and injustice at such a young age. I am sure when I was his age I was learning the same thing.

If only the disappointments in our lives stayed so simple. It is amazing how even at 8 years old, time was the only thing that healed his soul.

I know that in my life I have experienced much disappointment, injustice, and plenty of times when nothing seemed fair. Why is it exactly that bad things happen to good people? I think we all would love a concrete answer to that question!

There are plenty of cliche's such as "God doesn't give you more then you can handle", that attempt to answer the question. While some of them may hold some truth they are never terribly comforting.

I thought for a long time after March 25th 2007 that I would never feel happy again. That my life would always be a train wreck. That things would never get any better.

However, with time, God's comfort and hope, and all of your unending prayers and support, the smiles come easy again, laughter resounds, and wonderful days like today are once again possible! Thank You!

Makenzie had another great day!! I got some great video of one of her AMB sessions! She is learning so much! Her body feels so good. All of the disappointment in life just fades away when I see her so incredibly healthy and happy!

Enjoy! (watch for the arch in her lower back..when her bottom comes off the ground... over and over again! She didn't have that before we started ABM!)

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Did you know that grass is purple?

I am pretty intelligent person... I did make it through grade school and know my colors very well! That being said I am here to tell you, Grass is purple. You would be crazy not to just believe me, right?

Wrong, any sensible person knows that statement is just not true. I am guessing that you will not ponder for one second whether or not I am right. It will not change what you think about the true color of grass.

Why then do parents of special needs children so often let what a doctor or therapist tells them about their child steal away what they believe and know? Why do we let negative thoughts implying that our children won't get better or will be nothing in life penetrate our soul?

How do they know? Yes they are smart. Yes they have gone to like 20 years of school. Yes they are people in the position of trust. However, they really don't know for sure, anything they ever say is actually true. They do not have a crystal ball, nor a fast forward button. They use their God given gift of understanding science and medicine but are not God.

I remember when Makenzie was in a coma in the PICU after her accident. I remember all of the negative thoughts and comments that flew around the room like a constant gail force wind.

I remember praying with my head buried in Makenzie's side, asking God to give me a sign that Makenzie was going to be ok.

I remember her moving her arms and legs just seconds later. Something she hadn't done in days and wouldn't do again for many more.

I remember in that moment thinking about what the doctors were saying. I realized in that moment, it didn't matter what they thought. I knew she would be ok.

From that day on, I made it clear to all how I believed. I made sure anyone that cared for or visited Makenzie believed the same thing.

As I walked down the hall to our final Care Conference the day Makenzie was discharged I knew I had made it very clear that I had no interest in any type of opinion other then hope and healing. We talked about meds and her feeding schedule. They gave me prescriptions for therapy and I left with Makenzie on my hip ready to begin our journey to healing from inside the walls of her own home. Surrounded by the ones who loved and believed in her!

Today Makenzie is a bright, beaming little girl with the most contagious laugh and smile you will ever see. She has surpassed ALL of the doctors predictions. She has touched more hearts in her short life then most do in an entire lifetime. She continues to heal and is just a delightful little girl.

I can't wait to see the healing in store for the future! She is more then OK and I know with every day she will continue to get even better. No one or thing can steal that from me! I continue to stand in God's Hope and Grace! Stand with me! Believe!

Feeling Good!

Well despite all of the cold symptoms Makenzie slept pretty well! I layed down with her about 10pm and she slept until 6am. I feel refreshed and ready to conquer another day.

After Makenzie's ABM session yesterday Andrew gave me what was going to be a short lesson so that I could understand better what he was doing to Makenzie. Well our 10 min short session turned into 40 min. It felt AMAZING! I felt parts of my body that I didn't know excisted! Better then ANY hour long massage!

I don't know what Makenzie feels but if it is anything like what I felt I get why ABM works. I understand why Makenzie loves it and why she is so loose when we are done.

To learn more about ABM please visit Anat Baniel's site here.

There is also a very good article on what ABM is here

Makenzie is doing well this morning. Still a bit of a cough and a runny nose but VERY happy!!!

We are going to go have lunch with my mom and then to ABM session number 2 for today!

Off to the races we go!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Today was a great day! I have so much to say but I have a snotty little girl that is having a really hard time staying asleep. So I am going to enjoy her. I am off to lay down with my princess and hope to get a little extra sleep!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Video Tuesday

5 hours of sleep, a sick little boy, and 5 appointments, some how still turned out to be a GREAT day!

Last night my sons cough turned form somewhat productive to not productive. I sat up and watched him breath for a long time. his breathing seemed a bit labored but I am a bit sensitive to that issue.

I woke him up several times and asked him if he was ok and felt like he could breath ok. The answer was yes.

I called the doctor and of course they recommended bringing him to the ER. Now, if I was in serious fear for my sons life I would get him there faster then fast but I didn't feel like that was where we were. Going to the ER to find out my son was ok at 2am with 4 kids that had all been sound asleep is a major decision!

Today, he was still coughing a bit but was ok and tonight is doing better. Being a mom is tough!

All of our appointment went well! I am going to let these videos speak for themselves!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Kaleb LOVES his sister SO much!!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; (Lamentations 3:21-25, NIV)"

Monday, January 18, 2010

Round 2

Tomorrow I start another week of insanity. We have the nurse that oversees me as Makenzie's CNA coming at 8am, ABM at 8:30am, PT at 9:30am, OT at 10:30am, then a drive to downtown for a second session of ABM at 12pm, so that I can be home to meet the boys after school!

and well... that will be Tues-Thursday... Minus the nurse on Wed. and Thurs.. On Friday, she has ABM here, then to the other side of town for PT, and to the clear other side for round 2 of ABM. I think on Sat we will stay downtown between sessions and find something to do.

I am tired just thinking about it! There may be a few things that will have to give! We will see how tomorrow goes!

Here is a video of why I do all of this! It isn't the greatest video but oh well. Makenzie is starting to really reach for toys! The coolest part is that she wants to! Up until not to long ago she could have cared less! It is so awesome that she now can! She uses her whole body to do it but I think the more she practices the easier it will become. The ball she becomes after she pushes is her trying to use her arms and also a sensory reaction to touching the toy. She'll get it!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

I am trying to figure out how to rig something up to put her toys on so that they don't fall over. Maybe really strong velcro 2 boards, and a wig nut and blod to adjust the width? Any ideas? The laundry basket filled with anything I could find heavy just isn't cutting it!

This is not something we have seen before stem cells. I am not sure what part of it is in the ABM but I guess that has been the million dollar question from the beginning.... If I had done nothing more then what the doctors told me to do would Makenzie be where she is today?.... I don't think so but really would ever want to find out?.... NO!

Pray for healing this week!

Sunday, January 17, 2010


In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice, in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3

Church, On the Border, and hanging out with a good friend and her kids all day....refreshing!

It is amazing what you can find talk about when you have all day to talk!

The kids played great all day minus one big fight.

Makenzie continues to do well! I am getting so excited for all of the things we have planned for this year! I am filled with so much joy and hope!

We start another intensive session of ABM on Tues and are still praying that the ABM Center in CA will have a spot for Makenzie in March. Pray with me!

So this morning and I am sure many mornings to come I lay my request for healing of Makenzie's body and mind at the feet of Jesus! I see his hand in her life and the lives of this family. I have seen many miracles and I continue to wait in expectation!

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9

California Memories!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Brotherly Love

Does any one know the scientific reasoning behind why when a person doesn't do much you get so dang tired?

I am so dang tired! I have no clue why!

Two of my boys went up to the cabin with my mom and dad. The lucky ducks got to go skiing today and I am sure they had a great time! I talked to my mom a bit ago and they were getting ready to take some pictures and head home. I can't wait to hear all about it! I am so blessed that my kids have such great grandparents!

SO that left Makenzie, Kaleb, and me to hang out all day. I have done a bit of cleaning and laundry but that is about it. I feel so lazy but deep inside I know that I NEED days like this.

Makenzie has been laying on the floor watching Kaleb play video games for about an hour now. It is so cute to watch. Kaleb is so animated with his sound effects. Makenzie loves it! She is down there just a kicking and a laughing!

It is great to see her moving so much. She does great on her back and right side. When she gets over to her left side she gets stuck, curls in a ball and gives up. So I go down an flip her over and off to the races she goes!

I have never really just left her on the floor like that before. I have this guilt complex around not holding her, positioning her, moving her, entertaining her, and helping her. However, she is having so much fun that I have almost been holing myself in my room and just peeking as not to interrupt all of the movement and fun she is having with her brother. She has also managed to move all the way across the room about three times. I have no clue how because of course she wont do it while I am standing there. STINKER!

Sometimes I feel like I make my daughter lazy. The second I am there she is helpless. She doesn't move like that for me. But today I am spying on her! HEHEHE! I can see you Makenzie! I have not seen any stomach action but that is OK! It will come! Makenzie just loves her brothers! So much fun!

I don't know what I would do with out my boys! They are such good kids and so helpful! Makenzie adores them. They are so much a part of her healing! To watch them together is breathtaking. My heart is so full!

From the day each of my precious kids were born they came blazing right into my heart.... they are so amazing!

Friday, January 15, 2010


Makenzie was a bit tight today. Not sure why. She did did a great job in PT today reach for a toy and rolling it to make it play music. She has gotten great at doing it on a 1,2,3, GO! It is so cute! She just looks at you and smiles until you get to GO and then pulls her hand down!

She also was able to reach for a toy today while on the floor! I walked out of the room and heard it playing! I snuck to the doorway to watch and she did it again! Go Makenzie!

She didn't do so well in Speech but it was later in the afternoon and Makenzie seemed a bit tired.

For the last 3 years I have always wondered why.

Why did this happen? Why is everything such a battle? Why me? Just plain ole' WHY?

I know that God has a plan, but what does he want from me? I know that he is using Makenzie and this family for his glory. I get that. What I have had a hard time doing is putting my thoughts on the whole experience into words.

Yesterday as I was reading a friends blog I was overcome because there it was... my thoughts in words! AMAZING!

Heather is an AMAZING mom to a little girl named Samantha. She is also an AMAZING writer and has even had an essay published in the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul; Count You Blessings. You can find her blog here!

For me... other then the Karma she nailed it perfectly!

Here is what she wrote:

"When Samantha got sick, I used to comment that we must have done something in a past life to anger the Karma gods. . I would think, why us? Where was God in the ICU?

And then I discovered that God was not in the seizures or the sickness, not in the sadness. God was in what we discovered from our hard times; the people in our lives, the amazing doctors, the ability to tell our story, our fight for Samantha and others. God was in our ability to keep loving and be loved."

I see God in so many places I never would have found Him before. I see his blessings to us and those around us. I see Him in all of the therapies we have tried and all of the challenges that we face. Through each and every trial I have learned a little bit more and have become a stronger woman and child of Christ. As Heather wrote so beautifully God is not in the sickness (brain damage) but in all of the beauty it has brought to our lives!

"For the LORD God is our light and protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will the LORD withhold from those who do what is right. O LORD Almighty, happy are those who trust in you." (Psalm 84:11-12, NLT)

Thank you all for loving us and letting us love you! Thanks for all of the prayers and support! Keep Praying!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Today during therapy as I was telling Pam, Makenzie's PT about our evening and start to the morning. The last thing said was... "be careful what you pray for." I had to laugh because here is what we were talking about......

Makenzie has gained a ton of cognition since we did stem cells in July. She has made leaps and bounds however in the past 3 weeks. This is exactly what I have been praying for. However with the good comes the normal... yes normal. My daughter has gotten really really good and throwing a temper tantrum!

She has ALWAYS hated to have her hair done. however she never realized what was coming until I started in with the brush That is up until about 2 days ago. She now begins the pout and whimper when she sees the brush. You should hear her when I pick her up and turn her around in my lap.... oh my! By the time I put the brush to her head she is screaming, tears are flowing, she is squirming out of my lap, holding her breath, turning blue, and coughing! Pretty normal 4 year old temper tantrum in my opinion!

She does the same when I get out her pajamas because she knows that it is bed time, and I have to have one of the boys help me just to get her in bed with out a total meltdown! I keep wondering when that trick is not going to fly anymore either. That will be a sad day at this house! LOL!

I LOVE IT!!!! I don't love that she is crying but I love that she knows! I love that I get to deal with temper tantrums. I love her opinion!!

So tonight my temper tantrum throwing little princess is tucked in bed. Looking so sweet! Until the brush comes out in the morning!! I will take the good AND the NORMAL! (if there really is such a thing!)

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

STOP!!!!...... Now GO!!!!!!

We had another amazing day! Makenzie did awesome in speech, Pt and OT. Her little back was pretty tight but none the less she was still super happy!! Once her therapists gave her a good massage she was good to go! Did I mention how much I love all of her therapists! Priceless!!

Below is a video of Makenzie playing with her toy using her talker! She did SUPER!!! Mommy is so impressed!

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Makenzie understands cause and effect! Woooohooooo!!! So exciting!! She just loves this toy!

Bellow is a video that I made to show any one that is interested, how her talker works. I have had several questions about it and thought instead of trying to explain it with words, a video might be more helpful and easier to understand.

This device does a ton more then just activate remote toys. Makenzie can tell us her name, how many brothers she has, yes, no, more, all done, that she went to Disney Land with Joey and Blake, and much, much, more! She can play games on the computer, change the channel on the TV, start videos. She loves to tell her therapists "See you later alligator" when they are leaving and she is always talking about how she wants to eat cheese cake! That's my girl!

I do not claim to be a videotographer so please extend some grace on the video making skills! LOL!! The lighting was not the best but I can not turn the sun on at 8pm. I tried... it didn't work! Enjoy!

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Makenzie also had a great feeding therapy session! According to her OT ...the BEST she has ever had!!! She also told me not to stop whatever it was that I was doing! WOW!! Trust me... I don't plan on it!!!

My grandpa is doing ok. He still seems quite confused. Please pray for clarity in his mind! From what I understand everything else seems to be healing slowly but surly! Much thanks for all of the extra prayer! Please keep praying!!!


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Lemonade Award...When life hands you lemons...


The Lemonade Award is given as appreciation for those people who have been given lemons in life but have been able to make lemonade out of it all. I received this award from a good friend of mine, Jenny, that blogs about her family's journey on her blog The Fisch Tank. She wrote a bit about all of the people she awarded this to and here is what she wrote about Makenzie's Miracle...

Pam's Blog - Makenzies Miracle - The first person I really met, locally or otherwise, whose daughter had the same exact accident as Cici. She also understands what we're going through, although Pam is a lot more positive about things that I seem to be! We're definitely different people, but I'm learning a lot from her. I don't know how she can always be so positive, but the fact that Pam uses more exclamation points than even I do always makes me feel good. I think she just REALLY means everything, and I can't wait until I'm there too.

Thank You Jenny for the kind words and the pleasure to get to know you and your family! You have also been a true blessing to me and mine!!!

So here are the rules..

*Put the Lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
*Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
*Link the nominees within your post.
*Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
*Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

Now on to the best part of this! .... People that inspire me and keep me going by giving me love, hope, and sanity! They have also been given lemons! Check out their sites to see how they have managed to make lemonade out of it all!!!

Fighting Joey
Life of Logan
Noah's Miracle
Reflections on Autism, Parenting, and Life...
Gladiator Luke
Suzy Beth Booze
Christian's Journey
Pray for Santana

I would write a bit about all of these people but it would turn into a novel! Just know that you are all very important to me and I value your friendship more then any words could express!!! THANK YOU!!

Well... Makenzie....she had a FABULOUS day!!! The report I get from the school just gets better every day!!! Today her special education teacher told me that she talked sooooo much!!! She was not only babbling to babble but in response to questions and initiating conversation!!! Also she was able to hand her friends puzzle pieces to her friends when asked! I continue to be amazed!

She was happy at home and moving a ton! Her new favorite game is to bridge her hips and push herself backwards!!! She has even developed enough strength to do it on the carpet!!! WOW!!!

What a day!!!

I talked to the scheduling people today at the ABM Center. Their requests for lessons in March exceed the number of spots that they have. She said they may open another week which would be great! Please pray for this! I know that God is in control and that we will get there when the time is right! I really want to get to the center before we do stem cells again in April but only time will tell and only God knows and I know it will be the perfect time!!


Monday, January 11, 2010


As I was driving home from bringing Makenzie to school this afternoon I was cursing all of the parents that love to park in and around the Handicapped parking spaces at the school. I just can't wrap my head around why people do that! Big pet peeve! There are 2 whole spaces for the whole school.

I was trying to figure out why this issue sets me off so quickly. I don't know that there is an exact answer to this but my general feeling is that I would LOVE not to need that space! I would LOVE for people to understand that it is not just a close spot to park but instead a true need for many disabled people. It is not a privilege. It is a necessity! Ok rant is over!!! LOL

When I got home I got a call from Miracle Flights. This organization has flown Makenzie and I to most all of her out of state therapies free of charge! The woman asked me how Makenzie was doing. Then she began to explain that in this economy non profits are really struggling. She explained to me that Sam' Club and Walmart were really stepping up to the plate and donating to their organization.

As she was talking I was wondering why she was telling me all this. I was secretly hoping that she wasn't going to ask for a donation because I just can't. Then she asked me if I could do her a favor....

She proceeded to tell me that the Sam's near my house had a check waiting for them and wanted to know if I would go pick it up! SURE!!! I would be HONORED!!!

Now you all are probably asking yourselves why that is such a big deal. Well it is... to me... because I can't donate.. I cant give back.... but I sure can go sign for a check! That is something that I can do! SMALL but very meaningful that they would think to call and ask me!

I have also continued my research on the ABM method. I wanted to share part of a comment I received from a mother that writes about her sons story here

"Anat, she's miraculous! I can never say enough about her and ABM. Near and very dear to my heart. A true phenomenon!

Definitely not an overnight fix. Logan has been doing ABM since September last year and we haven't skipped a beat since. We will continue to go until his donation account is depleted. Of all Logan's years of therapy, ABM has been the one to provide us with amazing results. Miracles upon miracles! It's so worth it.

I do believe ;)"

Makenzie has also continues to do VERY well! I got another great report from school that Makenzie did amazing. She is loving to color and today decided that her hand should be ORANGE! She is also "talking" a ton! Makenzie is moving a ton and even followng some physical movement requests to a degree I have never seen. I LOVE IT!!!

I hope Miracle Flights is ready for us! We will be taking off soon!!! LOL!!! Anat Baniel here we come!

So aside from my rant about parking, today was a great day! I feel blessed!
Keep praying! Believe... Prayer Works!

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Another Sunday filled with food, family and fellowship! I did not get myself together this morning in time to go to church but we did make it to dinner with my mom, dad, brothers, and sister in law.

I mentioned that my boys needed haircuts. So my brother offered and down came my oldest.... he had a hair cut alright... a Mohawk to be exact! LOL!!! It is quite cute! Now we just need a bit of color...say...maybe! I suggested it but was informed that it couldn't be a color you would find in a crayon box at school. Now being me... I am thinking.... there is brown, black, red, white, yellow, and gray in a crayon box... so shoot...who cares lets do it! I will refrain because I am pretty sure I get what the school is getting at! LOL!

Makenzie was super happy today and still loose and bridging her little back! Her whole body still feels GREAT! We start our second ABM intensive next Tues! I cant wait!!!

Here is a story that I have read a few times. Every time it brings tears to my eyes and I wanted to share it with you!:.......

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Lazy Day

So today was nice! We did NOTHING!!!!

The boys played nice! Makenzie was happy and I got some much need rest!

I have spent the last week watching a 10 hour DVD workshop series that Anat Baniel on the ABM method. She is amazingly smart! She completely understands the body, the brain, and how they work together. She makes my brain hurt. I just finished the series today and I am pretty sure I am going to have to watch it again!

I want to get on a plane with Makenzie tomorrow.

I have seen her loosen up during the intensive that we did. She is still arching her hips, Here back is still much looser. The beauty of this is that it is so gentle, Makenzie loves it, and I can see the change.

The down side is that it is not covered by insurance, some of it is in CA, and it is a bit pricey. It is not an overnight fix. AHHHHHHHHH As previously stated.... My brain hurts!

With that said I am sure that my thoughts will be running circles around my pillow tonight and it is going to take me a while to fall asleep so I guess I need to start the process so that I will be dreaming before 3 am!

Oh the joys of learning patients in trusting God's timing!


Friday, January 8, 2010

Daily Grind

Everyday is a new adventure!

Today included Pt, ABM, scheduling another ABM intensive starting in a week, and Speech therapy. A quest for a new geoair track. Scheduling of Makenzie's tube replacement, e-mail's on issues from this summer and school, a sleep over.. ahhhhh, and hopefully soon heading off to bed!

When I am asked...How are you doing?... what's going on?, my answer tends to be.... "I am good,same stuff ...different day."

When in thought on this sometimes I get to wondering what exactly is the meaning of life. Yes, yes, yes.... I know the right answer to this question but..... Day in and day out.... same stuff ..... different day. Then there are my children and for them it could be the same way when they become adults... generation to generation to generation.

Then there is Gods word....

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." (Colossians 3:23-24, NIV

It is the great reminder that this life is so short and it is for sure not the end and because of the passion in the work of this life our reward will be great in heaven!

There is strength in the day to day grind because God does see all of the little things we do. The things that this world doesn't recognize. That it is for His Glory....the right answer to what the true meaning of life is.

So I plug on. Life is good. Makenzie is doing great. The boys are great! I am content and really happy.

My grandpa is doing a bit better today. He has been transferred from the ICU to the floor which is GREAT! Many prayers answered! He is still in pain but doing better! Please keep praying for strength and healing!

Thank you for all of the prayers! Believe!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Warriors Needed!

I was able to talk to my grandmas today! It was great! She sounds really GREAT! She is so upbeat and really likes the rehab facility. It is BITTER cold in SD right now so she was unable to get out and go and see my grandpa today or yesterday which must be hard! It is great to know she is doing so well given everything that has happened!

Tonight I am asking all of my prayer warriors to pray hard for my grandpa. He is stable but VERY tired, still in a lot of pain, and quite depressed! He has made some comments about giving up. Tonight he got a visit from 2 of his beautiful granddaughters and I hope with all of my heart that helped to lift his spirits! Please pray for STRENGTH! Please pray for relief from pain! Pray for HEALING!!! Pray that his spirit would be revived and that the depression will subside! PRAY for a MIRACLE!

In Makenzie news.... she had another GREAT day! She did great in PT and OT and was weight bearing phenomenally through her arms! She activated her hips in tall knell. She had another great day at school, and was so happy and chatty!

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Her body still feels great and is sleeping all sprawled out on the bed!

The louder the boys are the more Makenzie LOVES it! Tonight they decided it would be great fun to run circles around her in the family room. Oh did she giggle! The really cool thing was to watch how much she was moving. She was so nice and extended staying on her back a ton just a kicking away! She also rolled from side to side MANY of times! AMAZING!!! What a great end to the day!

Here is a video! It may give you a but it was SO cute!

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My Rock!

As I sit here tonight looking at my screen I am conflicted about what to write!

It was a great day with lots of therapy. Makenzie did great!

To some degree that is the problem! LOL!

Why, you may ask, could that possibly be a problem? The answer is a bit complex and attached to a ton of emotion and inner confusion! I will however try to explain.... here it goes....

The last few days Makenzie seems like a whole new girl. Her body has felt different. Her emotions have been different. Her interactions with her environment are different. Her communication has been different. All of these differences are in the REALLY GOOD direction! I would try to elaborate but I really can't! (my club of special needs mommys... you get that right? )

So why? Ypur guess is as good as mine but here is my guess.....

We did the intensive session of ABM last week and I truly believe that is what has brought this all on. We did the stem cells that gave Makenzie the extra cognition to be able to more readily take in this new therapy... among MANY other things the stem cells healed. The traditional therapy including the NAPA Center that has kept her body in one piece so that when her brain does make connections, in therapy or out side of therapy, it can work her body the way God intended it to.

So with that said... where do you go from here? (that is the inner confusion)

Tonight, I called my brother to ask for help setting something up on my computer. We got into a long conversation about life. He is such an out of the box thinker and most of the time he makes a lot of since. However,now my brain is on over drive!

Here is the long and the short of where we go from here.....
This year we need to do another round of Stem Cells... We need to go to see Anat Baniel at least once if not more... We need to decide what therapy we will do after stem cells....we need to continue ABM here with a local practitioner.... We need to get a modified van....

Then.....(in the near future)

There is the need to move into a house without stairs, put 3 kids through college, continue therapy with Makenzie, pay for teenage drivers, have some sort of plan for my future, and of course be prepared for all of the stuff that just comes up.

Did I mention that when I get to thinking about all of this my brain begins to HURT!!!

So I try not to. Reality is that there needs to be a plan. Even if it can not all be addressed right now. A loose knit plan would be nice! This is my reality! It is very real! God is walking with me and my family, he continues to provide, and I shall not fear but...... I am also human.

After talking to my out of the box brother I actually feel better about some of it. He was able to offer me some thoughts that I had never even considered. He made me remember that God is in control. That he will not let me fall. Even thought the decimal point after the dollar sign is in a really scary place right now it will all work out!

So today was a GREAT day. Makenzie seems like a whole new girl....



We're dreaming BIG baby girl!!!

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Dear Heavenly Father,
There are times when our situation can seem overwhelming and impossible. How wonderful it is in times such as those to know that you are our deliverer. We thank you, Lord, that you delivered us first from the most impossible of situations, which is death, hell, and the grave. We thank you that through the blood of Jesus, we have been delivered into eternal life. We thank you that you also deliver us from overwhelming situations while we are living here on earth. We ask that you would especially deliver Makenzie from anything that is afflicting her. We also pray that you would establish a fortress of protection around this family. We pray that any and all fiery darts of the enemy would be extinguished. Help us to be faithful and obedient to you so that you can work mightily on our behalf.
In Jesus' Name,
(Psalm 18:2)

Believe.... Prayer Works!

Please also continue to pray for my grandpa! He is such a fighter!!! Pray for healing!!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Everyday Miracles!

Miracles happen every day!
Here are 2 pictures of the car that my grandma and grandpa were cut out of last week. I cried when I saw these picture today because I find it to be miraculous that any one lived through that! God is so good!

My grandma was transferred to a rehab facility today and that seemed to go well! My grandpa continues to recover in the ICU. He has developed a touch of pneumonia and tonight after a CT scan revealed internal bleeding he was brought into the OR to find out what was going on. They found a tear in his colon that was unrelated to the accident. Please pray! Pray that he can move forward with no more set backs! Pray that he feels God's comforting hand on his broken body! Pray for peace to come over my grandma while they are apart! JUST PRAY!!!!

Makenzie had a great day! I am noticing little changes every day. She is very loose, she is babbling a lot, she has found a new emotion... whiny! LOL!! She has been protesting anyone leaving her... including her brothers. She has been laying on her back a lot instead of curled up in a ball. She has been sleeping more relaxed and she has been more interactive.

He teachers said she had a great day today! She drew this picture all by herself! The orange was done by one of her friends... the rest was all Makenzie! I was also told that she participated a ton more with her peers in class! Go Makenzie!

I have done a lot of research on the ABM method in the last few days. I have contacted their main offices, watched about 5 hours of a 10 hour works shop, and watched the changes in Makenzie over the last week or so. My conclusion.... I believe it is a viable treatment. We plan on continuing with the practitioner here and then in March traveling to CA to meet Anat Baniel to have her work with Makenzie and Andrew so that he can better help Makenzie from home. That is the tentative plan anyways! Then I will have to decide if we will go back to The NAPA Center after we do Stem Cells or if we will substitute ABM. Please pray that God would make this decision clear to me. It is a huge one!

Another good day is getting ready to begin! Believe!

Monday, January 4, 2010

My Soundly Sleeping Opinionated Princess

The holidays are officially over! The kids went back to school today!!!!

The house was so quiet!

Now life really gets back to normal and all of the things I have putting of need to get done! Fun stuff!!!

Makenzie had a pretty good day. She started by waking me up at 5am! She was a real momma girl today and didn't want anything with me walking away from her! It really is soooo cute! She is becoming so opinionated these days about EVERYTHING!

Miss Princess never likes to have her hair done. Our twice daily ritual of hair brushing, and pig tail making usually involves crying, coughing, the boys jumping up and down to get her attention off of the torture at hand, arching, head turning and of course breath holding. Well for the last couple of days she has also been sliding down out of my lap, putting her feet on the floor, and rolling over to try to get away from me! LOL!!! What a little 4 year old she has become! My girl amazes me EVERY day!

The other new and wonderful thing she has been doing lately is going to sleep all by herself! First of all this is a wonderful sign of brain healing and the ability to soothe herself. Second this makes my life so much easier! Typically, I have to get in bed with her sing her the nightly rendition of Jesus Loves Me, then I lay her down, and have to lay with her until she falls asleep. This is when I usually fall asleep as well, waking up 2 hours ish later to a beeping pump, and refreshed until the wee hours of the morning!

I have tried leaving in the past and she would just cry and cry until I crawled back into bed with her ..... that is until recently! It is great!

Now it is cuddles, Jesus Love Me, and about 5 mins of laying with her, then I am up, and she may fuss for a bit and falls fast asleep! So nice!!!

With that being said and the fact that I did not get my early evening I am going to hit the hay!

As always please keep praying!!!

Believe... Prayer Works!!!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

2009 In Very Short Review!

I have seen this done a few different places and a few different ways but I thought I would play along! Here is a short quote or two from each month of the last year. It was a busy year but we made it and it was fun to go back and read and reflect on all of the many things we did and experienced in 2009!

January- "Makenzie, are you going to take the tape off?" I asked. She looked at me and smiled and proceeded to rip the tape all of the way off of her arm and hand, fingers and thumb!!!!!!!!!

February- Tonight was another adventure! The boys went over to grandma and grandpa house. Just after they left I went to pick Makenzie up and had my knee on her tubing.... out came the front of the button used to feed her!!!!! So instead of going to PF Changs for dinner we ended up with Good Times on the way to the ER!

March-Last night as I was putting her to bed we sang our songs, and I looked at her and asked her to say "mama" guess what..... she did!!! Plain as day! Now of course she wouldn't do it again but once it great!!!!

April- There is so much more about this that is SOOO great! I just don't know how to put it into words! I have been in tears (of joy) on and off all day! After 2 years of not being able to know fully what Makenzie wants, today for the first time she got to choose.... and she did! Monkeys, Monkeys, and MORE MONKEYS!!!!!! To see that was something I just can't even begin to put into words!!!!

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May- TEARS!!!! LOTS AND LOTS of TEARS!!! I have waited 2 years for this moment!

June- Monday we were blessed to meet some wonderful people that I have been talking to on the internt!! They have been faithfully praying for Makenzie for the last 2 years and I was SOOOO honored to finally get to see them face to face!!! Although to short we had a GREAT time and their visit was PRICELESS!!! Thank you queenmimi and family!!! That meant so much to me!!!


Makenzie has learned how to throw a mean temper tantrum!!!

July- I don't care how pretend Disney is.... It was MAGIC... real magic for my family!!! THANK YOU MOM AND DAD for this trip!!! I don't think anything will ever top it!!!

Makenzie had her first Stem Cell injection. It went very well! She didn't think that it was so much fun as they had to remove the tape and wrap to get to the port or that they held her leg so she wouldn't rip the IV out of her foot! However we got it done!!!

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Aug- This was the 4th annual Skate for the Cause Event. Ian's parent's have started a non profit organization that gives out scholarships to College Freshman. They also have this skate event that benefits a local charity. This year they chose to donate all of the money raised to Makenzie for her ongoing therapy!!! WOW!!!

Sept- The NAPA Center is AMAZING!!! We only have one day left! I am tired! I feel like I am getting a cold and I miss my kids but I am so sad at the same time that it is time to go!!! I am having a really hard time putting my feelings into words right now and I don't think I am even going to try.

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October-She ate like a champ! I got about 2 oz in her between home and school today! That may seem like a small amount but for Makenzie it is HUGE!!

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November- Makenzie got a package today that had her very own TALKER inside!!!!

December- I saw that today when I found my daughter on the opposite side of the room I had layed her down in and under an end table . Yes, she rolled there all by herself and yes I did ask the boys who moved her. All of them told me that she did it herself.

We have had plenty of ups and also plenty of downs. We however made it another year no worse for the wear.

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As this family moves into 2010 I have much hope for this new year!

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