Saturday, October 31, 2009

Boo

Happy Halloween!

Today was another laid back day.

I was in a bad mood most of the day and I really couldn't figure it out until I talked to a friend late in the afternoon. It was about Halloween. It was about trick or treating. It was about the fact that Makenzie would not be running around eating candy.

I do not dwell on these things often and was not today either but in my subconscience it was there. It took the saftey of my friend for these feelings to come out. For me to realize that I was sad that Makenzie could not wear the princess dress that has been in her closet since before her accident. That she really doesn't care about Halloween. In that moment of honesty I was mad that she was broken. I could not see past what the world says. I wanted different. I wanted to put her in her pretty dress, do her hair up with glitter and stand in front of the mirror with my 4 year old and put makeup all over her beautiful little face. I do not see Makenzie as broken and I love her to pieces but on days like this it is still hard.

I also get anxious about being able to do what the boys want to to do while including Makenzie. It is COLD here! Makenzie does not do well in the cold! Trick or treating is outside.... after dark... brrrrrrr.

Needless to say all of my worrying was for not. We had a GREAT time!!! I bundled Makenzie up in like 4 layers, put her in her chair and off we went! The boys got more candy then they know what to do with and Makenzie giggled the whole time watching them run up and down the driveways. She also loved all of the decorations everyones houses!

Makenzie is SOOOOOO far from broken! She is such a joy and had just as much fun as all of the other kids just minus the candy!

Our route for the last couple of years has been leaving from our house and trick or treating to Makenzie's PT's house. We stop and get warm, and then we load up in their car and hitch a ride back home! It has worked out soooo great! Thank you P and B!!!

This year we stayed a bit longer. The boys sorted their candy while Mommy enjoyed some adult time and wine! GREAT times!!! Makenzie did great! Up much past her bed time she was still happy!

I would not change this night for anything! God is so good! He is always there and even though I am human and get down sometimes he picks me up and sets me back on the right path again! I am so filled with love and joy for all of my kids tonight... just the way they are!

I am also so thankful for friends that love me enough to truly listen to my thoughts with out judging me. That understand that this road is a constant roller coater of emotion. Friends that help get me back on track. Friends that can point out to me in times like today why the things the world hold as important, really don't matter at all.

Makenzie is happy, healthy, and has one of the purest souls you will ever meet! She is one of four of God's most precious gifts to me. At the end of the day nothing else matters! All of the hard work is worth it and I wouldn't miss a second of it for anything in the world... other then maybe a glass of wine, good friends, without kids every once in a while!

Sorry for the lack of pictures as I forgot my camera! Oops!!!

I am going to go up and crawl in my warm bed and snuggle with my perfect princess! Hoping that she will sleep well and sleep in!!!

Believe... Prayer Works!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I so very much understand how you felt this Halloween. I watched my niece, who is Brock's age, run and chase after her cousins and I found myself thinking...I wonder if Brock would be leading the pack if he wasn't stuck in his stroller. But, my life is blessed and Brock and my other two boys are my life and they make it perfect. Thanks for making me feel "not alone".

Lisa Cherek

Anonymous said...

I was sad when I started reading your halloween day and then glad when I read how well it turned out... I just thought I'd pass on that when I see Makenzie, I always see a princess. She is beautiful! And next time I see her, I'll be picturing her in her halloween dress; I can hardly wait:)

Jim M

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