Wednesday, March 25, 2009

2 Years

Two years ago right now I was standing over my baby girl not knowing if she was going to live or die. Right now two years ago my princess had tubes coming out of every where.Right

about this time some of the tests they had run on her organs and other body functions were starting to come back. Most ok! Right about now I started to realize that her brain could have been deprived.. don't ask why but that was a last thought when it came to everything that could be wrong. Two years ago tonight I was sitting in a PICU, there was a waiting room full of people and phones ringing off the hook with people wanting to know what was going on. Tonight we are sitting on the couch alone. No phones are ringing, no one is knocking down the door, Makenzie is upstairs breathing on her own, sleeping peacefully in her pj's. The gentle woosh of her feeding pump and white noise sounding through the baby monitor.

Today is a double edged sword.

On one hand I am so happy and PROUD of my baby girl. I am SO thankful for what God has done in our lives in the past 2 years! We have been so blessed! Makenzie has come so far! Evey day I go to get her out of bed and she looks AT me and SMILES! She loves to play peek-a-boo! She can hold her head up. She is using her hands more and more every day. She can pick a puzzle piece up and sometimes put it back in. She follows everything with her eyes. She is rolling better and pushing up with her arms! She is a MIRACLE!!!

On the other hand I am sad as we have lost so much! I have lost who my little girl WAS. I have lost a lot of the last two years of my boy's life. I have lost time with my husband, I have lost most of my friends because of my busy life filled with doctors and therapy, (ok I have gained a lot of internet friends! You all mean more to me then you will ever know!), WE have lost!

Please don't take this as a pitty party. It isn't. It is the reality of what our family has gone through. It gets easier as time goes by. I feel very loved! I continue to thank all of you for your love and support! Thank You!

As we move into year number three I hope that you will all keep praying for Makenzie and our family! We have big plans for this year and we are very excited! I feel God's touch in these new therapies. There is so much promise. Makenzie continues to fight and fight hard! Pleas don't give up on her! We are still here! We need you NOW just as much as we did 2 years ago! Thank You! Two years ago was tragic but Makenzie is still here and OH do I love her! Please give the people you love an extra hug tonight. After the last two years I have learned that life is short and in the blink of an eye it could change forever! God Bless Pam


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