Long Time No Post

I don't even know where to start it has been so long. So I guess I will start with right now.

One week ago I finished my first full time semester. I loved it but it was hard and consumed a TON of time resulting in many things taking a back seat to my kids and my classes. This blog being one of those things.

I signed up for Biology thinking it wouldn't be too bad. However, on the first day of class my instructor notified the class that we would need 18-20 hours outside of class each week to study and if we had kids, a job, or were taking other classes that we would most likely not do well in his class. At that point I thought about running far and fast but I didn't. I am not a quitter and I wasn't about to start then. Needless to say he wasn't joking. The class was HARD and required every bit of time he suggested and I gave it that, plus some. I walked away from that class having set the curve for each exam with a 92.2% final grade and finished the semester with a 4.0 for all 14 hours I took. I cried real tears when final grades where posted and I realized I had kept my 4.0. I was so relieved to be done but also so proud of myself for finishing well despite the projected failure.

The hardest part about being a single mom and full time student was dinner time. We ate out a ton over the last 16 weeks. So I decided to try a new angle on dinner time. I spent the last 3 days preparing 60 meals into Foodsaver bags and put into the freezer and then will be taken out when needed and thrown into the crock pot. I am so excited that I do not have to think about anything other than what bag to take out when it comes to making dinner for the next 3 months!

 

I also joined the gym and am working on my physical self. I found a gym that has a day care that does a fantastic job with Makenzie. It really does feel good to get out and push myself back into shape. Part of the gym includes a personal trainer who not only has kicked my butt but also helped get my eating habits back under control. Between eating better and excercise I feel a ton better during the day and am a much happier person all around.

So I guess much of the last 16 weeks has been about me. After 6 years of being a full time caretaker I think it was high time and I make no appolagies. I don't think I have ever been happier nor felt so good all at the same time.

Makenzie is doing GREAT! Other then a couple of colds and a stomach bug, we had a very healthy winter. She is doing fabulous at school and is getting ready finish Kindergarten and this year she will really be going to first grade! She is riding her power chair everyday and is doing really well learning how to steer and navigate around the school.

Last but not least Makenzie finally got her very own bike this weekend!!! She was SO excited and peddled that thing around the park until she could peddle no more. We are working on tweaking a few things to make it fit a bit better and then she will be ready for many bike rides this summer with brothers! THANK YOU so much Brendan, Amtryke, and crew for your generosity and making this happen for Makenzie!

 

I am hoping this summer I will be able to get back to taking pictures and sharing them with all of you! Thank you so much hanging in there with me and Makenzie! Life is good!

Vacation Time Before Reality Stikes Again!

Well we had a wonderful end to our Christmas break and then it was back to the grind again. However, before I get back to the grind I want to document a wonderful family trip we took right after the start of the new year.

For part of our Christmas present my mom and dad planned a short trip into the mountains . Unlike all of our other mountain adventures where we jump in the car, this time we boarded a train. I have never been on a train before so I was a bit unsure of how that would go over with Makenzie but let me tell you it was SO much fun!

 

We met so many interesting people, played games, and say a lot of scenery that you miss while driving. It was about a six hour trip and we climbed the mountain very slowly. This seemed to be the trick for Makenzie's typical altitude sickness because we did not have one issue even at 10,000 ft.



During our stay we went swimming in the hot-springs. Even though it was a whole 9 degrees out the water was super warm and everyone had a wonderful time. We also went skiing. I have not been skiing for about 17 years and was pretty apprehensive. However, the moment I clicked my boots into the bindings I knew that I remembered how to ski. It was Mr 11's first time on the slops and by run 3 you would have never known. After all we have been through I would be lying if I told you I wasn't a bit anxious as I watched my kids float down the hill, and the few times I saw my son out of control and rolling down the hill I really did want to crawl out of my skin but we all walked away with a smile, some really sore muscles and wanting to go back for more.

Having babies is fun but getting to do the big kid stuff is so much more exciting! I have waited for so long to get to experience this kid of stuff with my boys. As we jumped on the first lift and I sat there with my son I realized that for the first time since Makenzie's accident that I was going to spend the whole day focused on just them. I was going to get to see my child put on ski's for the first time, and I was going to see the look on his face when he rolled off that lift and looked down the big hill.  Yes Makenzie was waiting just at the bottom in the lodge but I was focused on my boys and knew she would be just fine. Needless to say I haven't had to much fun in a very long time!

One day later I found myself back to normal life and knee deep in my kids education. Right before break I met with Mr. 13's teachers and based on testing learned that he would not qualify for any services. We talked about more ways that we could help him find success at school and since then not one single piece of our conversation was followed through on. 

I made a really tough discussion this week to pull Mr 13 out of school and use a cyber school program to finish the year. Most of these programs were already closed for the year but I prayed that if this was the right thing to do that God would open the door and low and behold there was still one door open in a program that is still enrolling.

My decision was solidified yesterday when I experienced the most negative and irritating conversation with a teacher in regards to my son to date. I asked Josh if his teacher was always so rude and negative and his answer was "yes" he then went on to tell me that one of his other teachers told him and a few other kids yesterday that they would never graduate and make it to college and that in the past this same person had told the whole class that they were dumb. Ah.....yeah..... Not going to work for me.

So today I had a little chat with the Principal and hope to get the matter resolved but I am feeling like this could be a real reason why Mr 13 is having such a hard time in school. Negativity most certainly doesn't breed success in any way!

I also went and talked to Mr 15's guidance counselor and found out that he is really doing very well. Is is by no means a honor student but his first year of high school is going well.

So Mr 15 will stay right were he is. Mr 13 will spend the rest of the year with me to figure out how he can catch up and show the education system how smart he really is and Mr 11, well I am not sure about him. He is begging me to let him stay home and after yesterday I am considering it. I am feeling like some of the problems I have had over the last couple of years are simply because "middle school sucks!" in general. I am thinking that maybe it would be best for my 6th grader to skip the rest of these crappy years where so many bad behaviors are exposed and learned and try again in a couple of years. We shall see.

I have one more full week of break and am enjoying every minute of it! In fact I think I am going to go sit on my couch and watch a movie in peace now before I have to go pick the kids up again!

Believe... Prayer Works!

2012.... A Year of New Beginnings

Wow I can't believe another year has come and gone. Beginnings

This year was a good one full of many changes and much healing! We started the year with a trip downtown with friends, the flu, and a new hobby of couponing. We played in the snow and Makenzie got her first ever award at school. The boys also started hockey the beginning of this year.

 

Mr 11 particitpated in Destination Imagination and Makenzie and I took our first road trip in March to Texas to be in Ms. Stephanie's wedding. Makenzie was the most beautiful flower girl ever and we had so much fun!

Makenzie also worked really hard on talking with her eye gaze and driving her power chair in 2012 and on March 25th we celebrated the aniversery of Makenzie's accident with a huge celebration of life party!

Mr 11 also had another bout of infection in his gut but before the year was through, after another PICC line, IV antibiotics, a blood clot, and blood thinners, and the removal of an appendix, he was given a clean bill of health! God is so very good!

 

Makenzie loved her walker this year and also loved her very first field trip to the farm with all of her friends!  This year Makenzie also finished her very first full year of school with a program and my oldest moved from middle school to high school.

 

We celebrated summer birthdays outside on the deck. Makenzie turned 7 this year. Ms Stephanie came to visit, we went to Elitches, picnics, out for ice cream, and swimming. The summer also brought Makenzie a Sleep Safe bed and for the first time since her accident she started sleeping away from Mommy in her own bed.

  

Makenzie had another great go at eating by mouth this year! She rocked it out but in true Makenzie fashion decided that it was fun but she was done. We continued the blended diet this year and Makenzie continues to grow and thrive.

I learned how to make big bows that Makenzie now touts on the top of her head and right before school started Makenzie gave the trike another go and took off. We went to the mountains for a family reunion and school started along with Mr 15's first season of high school football. 

 

In September I went back to school, Grandma Linda got married and Makenzie was riding and driving all over her school. We made it through another election, Makenzie learned how to do the dishes, and found out that soon Makenzie will be receiving her very own trike.

My newest neice was born this year and I got to take pictures of her several weeks after her birth. 

We made it through Christmas and had a real tree for the first time. We started some new tradidtions and spent a lot of time with family and friends. We ended the year with a movie and dinner and sleep over in the livingroom waking up to a new year. 

 

 

2012 has been a year of new beginings. It was a great year! Makenzie is doing so well and I feel nothing but blessed that she is who she is. It has been a long journey but God has provided all that we have ever needed! 

2013 is going to start with a bang and then we will all go back to school. Thank you all so much for your love, support, and prayers, in 2012! It was a great year!

Believe... Prayer Works!

New Beginnings

"It's not about perfect. It's about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. That's how change occurs." -unknown

This post marks the end of my very first semester of college classes. I went into this new endever having no clue what to expect and I came out feeling very confident that my original goals are more than attainable.  I do not have official grades at this point and am waiting for a couple of papers to be graded but I am expecting to finish this semester with a 4.0 GPA.

The last 16 weeks have been a great ride and quite life changing. I spent most of the first part of this semester beating myself up for not going back to school years ago. I had no clue how many misconceptions higher education looked like and realized early on that it was not nearly as intimidating as I thought it would be. However in the midst of my negative self talk, I was also reminded that God opens all the right doors at just the right time. I realized that this timing gave me the last 15 years to focus solely on my children and be fully present in our time of crisis. My academic refreshing  has also come at a great time to help my boys through high school and one day college.

The reality of being a mother for me, even through tragedy is simple.... I do it because I want to and because I love my children with all that I am. It is not a job or an accomplishment of some sort. It is my life and even though it is a fairly thankless job, I would have it no other way. However, since becoming a mother I have put many, if not all of my aspirations on hold to be there for my kids. I have not dared to dream for anything but my children for a very long time. This semester not only showed me that I am smart, and more then capable of achieving a degree, but also that I can follow my dreams at the same time I dream for my children and  give them that they need. After 15 years of the mystery of child rearing, the simple concept of doing something and then receiving feed back in the form of a grade and many times a pat on the back for a job well done feels so good! This new era of my life has given me a confidence both as a mother and an individual that I have never had.

This time has also helped me re prioritize many things in life. For a while now I have felt that life is "normal" again. I feel as though this family has done a great job moving beyond Makenzie's accident and I feel very whole again. I have spent much time looking at life and trying to figure out where we go from here. Going back to school was a huge part of that thought process.

I have also thought a lot about the internet world that was such an integral part of my healing and support after Makenzie's accident. Today, I find that I spend much less time participating in forums, support groups, and research then I did a year ago. I have also contemplated the current purpose of this blog. Many times I do not know what to write because I feel like it is all a bit of the same. Makenzie is doing great, the boys are growing up, and we have not tried any new therapies or treatments to report for over two years now.

I have come here to write for the last five years for many different reasons. In the beginning it was to inform my family and friends about Makenzie's progress, to ask for prayer, and to release emotion. As time went on I realized how many people I had met and could meet through Makenzie's story which then turned into the desire to help those who where walking the same or similar roads.

Every time my thoughts about this blog have evolved there was one thing that remained unchanged and that is and always will be to share  Makenzie's strength and healing as well as God's perfect plan through all of this. I have watched Makenzie's story and God's power touch so many, including myself, over the last five years. I have documented our journey and the power of prayer to remember for generations to come. I also have all of you and the many beautiful comments of support and love which I will cherish forever. This little place on the internet means so much to me!

However, I am not sure where to go from here. This is not some dramatic way of telling you that I am going to quit posting because, I am not going anywhere. However, most days there is not enough "Makenzie" news to write about and am not sure if my readers are interested in my school endever, the boys, hockey, and the rest of my "normal' boring life.

So with that said, I am going to get back to my boring life. The one were the flu virus is going around and my daughter stayed home from school because she had and upset tummy last night. I am going to get back to making cake pops for teachers who do an excelent job, making dinner, giving baths, and tucking my four beautiful children safely into their beds so that we can begin again tomorrow. To be quite honest...... I am in love with boring! I have not had near enough of it in my life! So here's to new beginnings. Cheers!

Believe... Prayer Works!

Our Normal Busy

It is 9:15 pm and I am at the rink for the third night in a row watching the boys play hockey.  It has been a crazy but overall good couple of weeks.

The week of Thanksgiving Mr 11 was sick with a cold. The week after thanksgiving Makenzie was sick with the same cold. In the middle of a couple little sickies we still managed to have a good Thanksgiving with family.

I found out last week that our bathroom remodel has finally been approved after fighting with the county for almost 2 years. We are going to have to pay for a walk in shower to be installed because they would not instal both but that is a small expense compared to what the whole project is going to cost, I am so excited to start picking out tile, fixtures, and colors. Other then a ramp into our home this is one of the last big steps to have a home that is fully accessible for my girl! Blessed!

Last week we also went down to Makenzie's seating company and picked up her new chair. She now has a new seat that fits her perfectly for both her manual and power chair. Makenzie is sitting up so much taller and her head looks great. We will go back in January to have her second seat remade after making sure the fit is just right.

We also managed to get the Christmas tree up. We pulled out the fake tree that we have had for the last 5 or so years. It has been beat up but cats sitting on the branches. We got it up and started fluffing the branches. We all stood back and looked at it. Then looked at each other and agreed that this was going to be a real tree year. The first real tree we have ever had. We had a ton of fun picking a tree out and watching them load it onto the van. Our neighbors gave us a tree stand and help cut of some of the extra branches. It smalls oh so good! Makenzie as usual loves the lights of the tree and spent much of our tree trimming time grinning from ear to ear.   

Makenzie is also doing great at school. We had a follow up meeting yesterday with her team to talk about progress and services. Makenzie is constantly changing and so is the structure at school. She is doing great with her power chair and trike. Watching her learn independence has been so much fun! It has also been a bit of an eye opener for me on what is most important for Makenzie. She still has many education goals but it was decided that there needs to be much more focus placed on practice in her power chair, and purposeful communication. At the beginning of the year Makenzie will start receiving Speech therapy 5 days a week at school and we also added 30 minutes per day of additional one on one time with the Special ed teacher. I am so excited! I just love Makenzie's school! I am so thankful for how much each and everyone that works with Makenzie cares for her. 

 

Tomorrow Makenzie and I, along with a few friends will be playing hookie to go to Disney on Ice! The Starlight foundation offered tickets to this event and Makenzie is so excited to go. I have asked her several times if she wants to go see Mickey Mouse and she just grins from ear to ear. I am so excited for her. When she was little I dreamed of the the day that Makenzie and I would have mommy daughter moments to see the Disney princesses and since her accident it has never happened! This is not the Princess show but I will take it! 

I know that there are several other big things that happened in the last couple of weeks but right now screaming parents are interrupting my thought process and in 2 minutes and 48 seconds it will be time to pack up and head to bed. 

Hope to be back soon with pictures of our Disney Adventure!!!

Believe... Prayer Works!